Random Posting. Just Some Thoughts in Me Head

I was reading someone else's awesome blog and he was talking about how he was getting dressed in a hurry in the morning, he glanced in the mirror and noticed his collar was turned up. For a second he thought he'd leave it that way then realized "I am 31 years old, flip the collar down and trot to the kitchen to pack my lunch, dodging endless hours of ridicule and peer-torment."

It got me thinking. How do we choose to be bold one day, setting trends and the next day cramming in to the status quo. Maybe it's like choosing what color to wear that day, or maybe it's a mood we wake up with.

It seems like most people like to play it safe. Going everyday dressed in the latest fashions that some magazine tells them to; driving the latest cars, playing the latest games, doing the coolest thing online, etc., etc., etc. There are some days that I ask myself, is this all there is? Is this my world?

I then look for someone to blame, because I get angry. I could blame the gay community, the hetero's, the young, the old, the commercialism driven US, Bush... But they are not to blame. It's just me.

It's up to me. To make the world the way I want it to be. The way I want to live in it.

So, I was on my way to Starbucks to get an iced coffee (grande-iced-soy-mocha, no whip) on my break, with the gift card Elise got for me. I helped her move some furniture, a gay's work is never done. When I got back in my car I was like, "Hey, this is my drink. Will people one day go, 'that's Brian's drink, a grande-iced-soy-mocha, no whip'?" So I thought, what should my signature alcoholic drink be? So, I'm gonna try a few things. I was thinking about a double bourbon, neat with a baby aspirin chaser?

Just a side note: After I left Carries this Sunday I thought about this: We had just watched The Skeleton Key, and we were talking about how some people gravitate to Paganism or Wicca and all they do is practice spell-casting and they feel that's what it's all about. "Yes, some people really miss the point, she said. "It's like one day if I decide to be Catholic and all I do is perform miracles all day." And I agreed. What I wanted to tell Carrie and everyone else... Life is the spell and love is the magic.