St. Patrick's Day & Babies

On Sex and the City Carrie says "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." I couldn't just steal the quote from her even though it's exactly how I feel. As do my closest friends Elise, Patty and Vera. Now we are far from the Sex and the City girls. First of all I'm a gay male who works for a publishing company. Vera is a college student, Patty a Massage Therapist and Elise... well Elise is just Elise.

Vera is in the infant stages of seeing an Italian man. Aldo, of course I automatically think of shoes. In any case, Aldo has seemed like the perfect gentleman, opening doors for her picking her up, calling everyday, paying for meals. Since the first date where they talked and talked all night to the second that ended in a make-out-fest. All of this Vera loved. Vera the strong one. This is the woman whose whole bravado amongst her friends is I don't need any man to take care of me. She's confidant, clever, and strong. She confided in me one night, “I’m looking for a man to boss me around.” That makes two of us Vera.

I was with Patty the other night and her weak sense about that opposite sex has been getting stronger. More and more I like the Patty that doesn't like people. Patty has always been the nice girl. The girl that everybody likes. Girls want her to be their best girlfriend and guys can feel comfortable around, comfortable enough to talk about their girl problems with but not enough to go out with her. She's admitted that it's been a defense mechanism in the past. But now I can see it going away.

For instance, let's call this chick Henrietta. So on Saint Patrick’s Day Patty, Vera and I went out to have a good time. Vera picked out this great Irish Pub, we stood in line for 30 minutes until they started pulling young, skinny, blond and Asian chicks with lots of make-up and not much personality (a.k.a Lanka's) out of line and in to the pub. We quickly decided to eat at Chili’s instead. We each had a hamburger, mine a bacon cheeseburger. I really wanted little cheeseburgers but our hot waiter said they didn't have any. We didn't know if this waiter was gay or straight. It didn't matter with the Guinness's that Vera and I had, and the Bailey's that Patty had. He was fair game. Vera had suggested going to a “chill” club with a live band. We were also to meet Henrietta. Well Henrietta was late, as usual. We told her we wanted to go to the “chill” club, but Henrietta insisted on going to downtown San Jose where all the young kids were. We met up at a Mexican restaurant where I went pee, because I always have to pee. Peeing cost us each a beer. I had a Corona, Vera a Negro Modelo, Patty a Jarritos. Henrietta walked in and said, "Oh yeah, this is my Idea of a great Saint Patrick’s Day party!"

Vera exploded because she was mixing alcohol with prescription medication. "Are you okay Vera?"

"I'm pissed off! You didn't know exactly where you wanted to go then you got mad at me for not knowing where we were going and then you come in with a shitty attitude!"

Henrietta was quiet, and then tried to fight back, in a losing battle. She eventually settled on ordering some nachos. Before we left the Restaurant Patty went to the restroom, just upon returning Henrietta put her foot on Patty's chair to tie her shoe. "Hey Henrietta can I have my chair back?"

"No, go sit over there."

Patty didn't go sit over there but she did wait for her seat. At the VooDoo Lounge, being the only male in our group I had to pay a cover, ladies are free. I didn't fit in with the ultra straight/breeders aged 17-22. I was dressed for a cool night at the pub complete with a green tweed hat. I of course had to leave my hat at the door where a miserable young lanka girl all of 21 repeated to me 4 times that she was leaving at 1:00. "Okay I got it."

After being pushed around on the dance floor for about five minutes straight I walked out. Patty followed; I guess she wasn't feeling the VooDoo either. "So much for meeting the Irish guys of our dreams tonight."

Vera came out of the club ten minutes later, and said lets' get out of here. While walking to the car Patty started rehashing Henrietta's attitude problem, and Vera said, "Oh you don't like Hen, do you Patty?"

"No, I just like her in small doses."

Then next night: "Brian, I just don't like Henrietta. I don't like her. She's annoying!"

Good for you Patty. I like this Patty much better.

The Saturday after Saint Patrick’s Day Elise and I went to a Mexican baby shower. That just means everyone is invited even the boys, even the gay boys. Wow, was I bored. Every gift was cute, the cake was cute (well that was true) the decorations were cute, cute, cute, cute. I wanted to cute my wrists. At moments like that, I'm reminded that yes, I am still a guy. Elise is older than the three of us and it seems that this guy that she met through a party line has gotten to her. He called a couple weeks ago saying that he would like to get Elise pregnant. I asked, "How old is he?"

"Thirty-nine."

"Oh, he wants to have a family."

"But I don't know if I want to have family now."

But her eyes gave it away. She was considering it and following her ideas to logical conclusions. That instantly put me on edge. Elise has always been my "egg". I thought we would have children together someday. But we are about that age where people are suppose to be raising a family. But is it necessary? Can we find completion in our lives without that traditional concept of a family? These days, people are staying single longer, marrying later, some even choose to go through their entire lives without a partner, and they are redefining the term family. So we continue on looking for love, and people to call family.